Forgive Me
by m.t.dog
Summary: Edmund, wracked with guilt, must learn that sometimes, I'm sorry, really dows work. Bad summary, but, good story. Could be slash or pre-slash or just plain old brotheryly love! Enjoy!


Disclaimer: Nope, don't own as much as I'd like to!

_A/N: So, it's been a while since I wrote fanfiction, and I wrote this in like 30 minutes, but ya know, whatever, I still hope that you enjoy it! And, by the way, this could be seen as pre-slash, or just plain brotherly love…whatever floats your boat, ya know? Anyways, enjoy, and please review when you're done!_

"_I'm sorry."_ The words, cold and lifeless, float past his lips and into the frigid air around him. They were a mantra, a rock to hold onto as the walls around him got smaller and the White Witch's blows got harder. They were his saving grace, his last piece of sanity to hold onto with all his might, and yet, even as they kept calm, they were slowly killing him.

"_I'm sorry." _He knew that no amount of apologizing would help him, would reverse the terrible, horrible thing he's done. He knew that Susan, her eyes normally warm and inviting, would turn to stone the minute that they turned on his face. He knew that Lucy, her smile bright and cheerful, would fade when…if she saw him again. And Peter…he knew that Peter would forever look at him with a look of disdain, of betrayal, and Edmund wasn't sure if he could live through that.

"_I'm sorry."_ He continues the mantra however, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his face buried in the space between. Tears squeezed out of his dark eyes, and he made no move to brush them away, to stop their harsh, frozen track down his face. He deserves this, deserves to feel weak and pathetic, because that's just what he was. He had betrayed his family, his sisters, his one and only _brother _… he had nothing left.

"_I'm sorry." _ The words echo throughout his holding cell, haunting and comforting all at once, and it was then, just as the last, lonely word float back to him, that Edmund decides that he would stop at nothing to kill the White Witch. He would fight her with every bone in his frail, bruised body, he would fight, and then…then, he would die, paying for his sins in the most literal of sense, and he would be happy. He would redeem himself, and rid Narnia of two terrible evils- the witch…and himself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_After Edmund is rescued from the Queen's camp and reunites with his family._

"I'm sorry." Those are the first words out of his mouth when he and Peter are finally alone in their tent, the quite sounds of nature surrounding and comforting.

For a moment, Edmund is afraid that Peter is going to say nothing, to just let his apology hang there in the air, untouched and cold, though really, Edmund knows that it's nothing less than what he deserves.

Then Peter turns to him, a beautiful, artificial smile on his lips, and says, "Its fine Ed. Aslan has forgiven you, and I will do the same. After all, you're back now, right?"

His tone is friendly, but his eyes…his eyes are just as hard as Edmund had imagined, and even as his shoulders slump, and his heart cracks just where it hurts the most, the ten year old manages a tremulous smile, and responds faintly, "yeah, I'm back now."

Their exchange over, the reunion short and filled with unspoken pain, the two brothers turn away and head to different sides of the tent. The physical distance is small, but to Edmund, as he lays down on his pile of blankets that are much softer and warmer then anything he'd had in a long time, it's as if Peter is still a million miles away.

"_I'm sorry," _he whispers into the night, his eyes clenched shut tight and tears streaming down his cheeks, and there's no way for him to know that just a few feet from him, his older brother is doing the exact same, his heart shattering in the wake of the younger's pain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_After the Battle with the witch's army; Edmund is recovering._

"I'm sorry." The words are whispered lightly against his ear, Peter's lips soft and smooth, and for a moment, Edmund revels in his brother's closeness. Then his words register, and he pulls away slightly, staring up at his brother with wide, innocent eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" Edmund's voice is rough and scratchy, and for a moment, Peter is forced to close his eyes, lest Edmund notice his brother's pain and guilt.

"I'm sorry for everything. I was a jerk back to you in England, I was prideful and cold when you got back from the Witch, and now…now, I was almost too late to save you from your death." The last part was whispered, agonized and trembling, and slowly, Peter reaches down to cup Edmund's cheek in his hand. "It's all my fault that you fell for her spell, that you were forced to go through whatever torture she put you through, it's my fault that you almost died Ed…and I'm sorry."

Edmund stares in wonder as his older brother, so strong and valiant and noble, slowly breaks down in front of his, his shoulders shaking, and his hand, warm and soft against his cheek, begins to tremble just ever so slightly.

"Peter…" Edmund shakes his head slightly and tries to sit up, though with a quiet exclamation, Peter gently forces him back down. "Peter, it's not your fault. I was the one who left, the betrayer, the monster," his eyes darken and scorn and self-hate fill his voice, "and I don't deserve your apology. I hurt you and Su and Lu in the worst way, and I deserved it all. I deserved," a deep breath, "to die."

With a cry that broke his voice, Peter lunged down and gathered his brother, his beautiful, baby brother in his arms. His voice was ragged and harsh with panic when he spoke, but he paid it no mind. "Edmund Penvesie, you take that back right now. You did nothing wrong, absolutely _nothing_, and if I hear things like that again from you, then I'll…I'll…"his voice broke, and suddenly, he starts to sob, his arms tightening around Edmund's small body, "I'll die too Ed. I would, because I love you, because you're my little brother and deserve to be happy, to live and to be free. You're the most important thing to me Ed, the _most important thing_," Peter pulled away slightly and gazed deep into Edmund's eyes, "and I wouldn't be able to live without you."

Peter's words ring in the air, and for a moment, Edmund hardly believes his ears. Then, as Peter swoops down and lays a gentle kiss on his lips, he begins to cry, silent and still, unable to believe that his brother could forgive him, unable to believe that Peter had made room in his heart for a traitor.

But, as Peter smiles down at him as he wipes away his tears, his face loving and filled with hope, Edmund knows that it's true, even as he knows that from that day on, he would do anything to keep that smile on his older brother's face, do anything to keep him safe from harm.

"Thank you." His whisper is soft, but his grin is sincere, and as Peter smiles back, they both know that they had just formed a bond, magical and filled with a hope filled future that would last them till the end of their days.

_A/N: So, I know that this ending isn't super awesome, but I wrote this in like 30 minutes, so I cant be completely blamed for my bed writing!! ^_^ Anyways, thanks for reading this far, and please review!!! ^_^_


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